Tube Terror by Shaky
Oh boy! I’m sweating on the tube today like a mutha ucka. Yes that’s me.
Ridiculous as it may seem, what might appear insignificant to one person can be a huge trigger to me. So here I am, commuting on a packed-out tube, surrounded and enclosed like a sardine in a tin can. Yes, London’s commuting is annoying to anyone but it’s incredibly overwhelming, even ‘terrifying’ to me.
On the tubes I feel delirious because there are so many people. It’s intimidating. I see an army of business people and high class suited and booted chief executives and entrepreneurial extraordinaires with their state of the art technology peering at each other on their way to Canary Wharf.
Such a display of earning power leaves me feeling more inadequate than a wet suit in the Sahara. Next my anxiety in status begins gradually to accelerate as the journey through London’s underground reaches its climax during the pulsating hustle and bustle.
My anxiety during this seemingly ‘normal’ phase of morning rush hour is a stark indication of the insecurities that I harbour deep within myself, particularly when it comes to my goals and aspirations, and how someday I wish to achieve the normal things like being in a good career and earning a respectable income before a certain age.
Looking at others who appear to have achieved all I have yet to do has many times triggered a bodily feeling of pressure and uncomfortable dread and bowel movements at the thought of perhaps not achieving all that I want too.
The result, anxiety looms at the forefront of my mind in effect causing the most irrational of bodily reactions, such as severe sweating (I’m sorry). It’s often mistaken by others as a response to poor hygiene, but it’s worse: it is my fear of what I need to achieve in my life.
*Sigh*
